Indische Künstlerin verwandelt Tinder-Dates in Illustrationen

Tinder schreibt die schönsten Geschichten. Und die skurrilsten. Eine Künstlerin aus Mumbai verwandelt diese in kleine Kunstwerke. Sie zeigt intime Momente zwischen Sex, Liebe und Verlust einer indischen Generation, die wohl nie so frei geliebt hat.

Screenshot: Instagram/induviduality

Screenshot: Instagram/induviduality

In Indien ist Tinder mehr als Online-Dating, vielmehr ist die App Barometer eines Kulturwandels geworden. Junge Frauen wollen Liebe nicht mehr in die Hand ihrer Eltern geben. Für sie ist die App ein Befreiungsschlag. Sie können selbstermächtigt nach einem Mann suchen und bestimmen, wen sie daten oder vielleicht sogar heiraten. Nach Angaben von Tinder sind die Download-Zahlen im Jahr 2015 um 400 Prozent gestiegen.

Indu Harikumar beschreibt den Tinder-Trend auf ihren Social-Media-Accounts unter dem Titel „100 Indian Tinder Tales“ auf kreative Weise. Seit April malt die Illustratorin aus Mumbai jeden Tag ein Date und veröffentlicht das Bild auf Instagram und Facebook. Mit ihrer Reihe möchte sie „urbanes Verlangen ohne irgendeine Art von Bewertung dokumentieren“, schreibt Mashable. Es gehe ihr aber vor allem um den persönlichen Aspekt: „Ich finde Alltags-Geschichten sehr inspirierend. Sie helfen mir, mit meinen eigenen Ängsten und Unzulänglichkeiten klar zu kommen“, sagte Harikumar im Interview.

Zu Beginn des Projekts verarbeitete sie eigene Erfahrungen mit der App. Dann die von Freunden. Mittlerweile bekommt Harikumar von indischen Nutzer*innen so viele Einsendungen, dass sie wohl deutlich mehr als 100 Geschichten zusammen bekommen wird. Für Harikumar war die große Beteiligung eine Überraschung: „Wir reden gar nicht über Sex, deswegen bin ich etwas sprachlos über solche ehrlichen Bekundungen von Fremden“, sagt sie.

Kritik am Konzept von Tinder kann sie nicht nachvollziehen: „Manche suchen vielleicht nach einer Eroberung, andere eine Beziehung über echte und gefälschte Profile. Wir mögen lügen oder ehrlich sein, aber am Ende geht es um Verbindung – sei es für eine Nacht oder für ein ganzes Leben“.

In yesterday's drawing I thought I had cleverly shoved in a phallus but looks like no one got it :(. At least none of my friends did. SS from #Mumbai writes about several @Tinder dates. Such a fun read! Day 30 of #100IndianTinderTales "I kept hearing from everyone that Tinder is infested with the creeps of the world – that it was impossible to leave that dimension without being touched (pun intended) by a creep monster. I might be in the 0.1 percent of the Indian Tinder sisterhood who’ve had fabulous company, cherished friends and an entire wave of interesting men staying far beyond a night. One of the first conversations I had on Tinder was also one of the most intense. We were texting away for nights on end, the terrible UI not withstanding. When I met A the first time, we decided to meet at Starbucks for a quick hot chocolate. I frowned. “Seriously? Starbucks?” “Hot chocolate and run,” he replied. I went with it but we never ran. We were as immersed in conversation in person as we were on text. We gave the barista mythological names for our order. I’m unlikely to forget the moment when the barista yelled, “A GRANDE HOT CHOCOLATE WITH WHIPPED CREAM FOR DURYODHAN!” Our laughter was too unbearable for the corporate life around us and we exited, two very happy people. We never apologised to the barista. When I met N, I was a little nervous. We were meeting at a rooftop restaurant where the weather gave me no reason to sweat. What does the fucking weather know about meeting ridiculously pretty men? N and I talked about a lot of things on chat – imaginary LOTR and Game of Thrones crossovers, our favourite acts from music festivals and a lot of Carl Sagan. He sounded driven, intelligent and handsome. The elevator opened and he walked towards me in a simple black shirt and framed black glasses that dimmed his unusually bright eyes. I looked at the mirror suddenly realised I was meeting Zeus in khakis. Towards the end of the night, he did something very reassuring. I get very uncomfortable when people fight over bills at the end of good evening. Gender should have nothing to do with food. (1/2) #the100dayproject

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

Day 36 of #100IndianTinderTales Sj from #Delhi writes about gettinng lucky and finding love on Tinder "After going through two tedious, abusive relationships, I had given up on love. This is how my Tindering phase began. I met some nice people, but the idea of a future never really blossomed through any of those meetings. So, I uninstalled it seeing that it was just boring and served no real purpose. Then at a Holi party in office, while talking to a friend I decided to give Tinder one more chance. I saw this guy's profile and noticed that I have a mutual friend with him who was just standing next to me in the party. Turns out that the mutual friend had been this Tinder guy's roommate for a while. I asked him if the guy is nice or not. He said yes, and I swiped right instantly. Few minutes later, I got a 'Hi'. We talked through our insobriety as he was drinking, and I was already drunk. After 2-3 days of talking, and me delaying the meet up. He finally asked me to meet him. I said ok, We met at Connaught Place, had chai, talked about everything under the sun till it was time to head back. He generously offered to drop me home, and I obliged. As soon as I was getting off of the car, he asked me if I'm free tomorrow. I really liked the guy, so I said yes. The next day we met again for chai. Drove around the city till 4 in the morning as I couldn't go home because people were partying at my place, and I needed some peace. So he asked me to come over to his since it was already so late. This whole time, he didn't touch me, or made a move, so I agreed. But as soon as we reached his place, all hell broke loose, and so did our buttons. We had crazy sex that morning. May I add, the best. He dropped me to my office, and we decided to meet up again. We kept meeting everyday. A few days into this, he expressed that he loves me. I was a bit taken aback, because I surely liked him but I wasn't sure about love. I told him this as clearly as possible, and he understood. (1/2) #illustration #The100DayProject #dailydrawing #drawing #artistsoninstagram #datingstories #datingapps #tinderIndia #tinder

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

Inspiration: #JaminiRoy (sorry, it was #Kolkata and I thought of you first.) Day 32 of #100IndianTinderTales S shares her tale from #Dubai "I was in Kolkata for a three-month course last year. And I met R towards the wee-end: Just three weeks before I was heading back. I was getting out of another Tinder “fling” at the time and all I really wanted was a good conversation over beer. And that’s just what I got. R and I hit it off from the minute he picked me up at Park Street, and sitting in his car, I felt like I was meeting an old friend. We headed to a bar and soon we were exchanging stories, like we were catching up after a long break. What was supposed to be a short meeting, ended with him dropping me home later that night, all the way on the other side of town, and we shared a joint, parked not too far away from home. “Why didn’t I meet you earlier,” he asked, and I was asking myself the same question over and over in my head. We met a few times before we went our different ways, making out in corridors and stairwells, and only once in my room when the aunty I was staying with was out of town. It wasn’t the best sex, but there was a lot of affection. And I have this feeling that I’ll run into him again soon enough. At least I hope I do." #the100dayproject #illustration #stories #datingstories #datingapps #tinder #tinderIndia #drawing #dailydrawing #artistsoninstagram

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

M from #Mumbai talks about a romance gone sordid. Day 31 of #100IndianTinderTales "They say you leave behind a bit of yourself with every person you meet. Not a significant chunk. But little iotas. Chunk, if the exchange goes beyond simple chatter, leaning towards friendship. Beyond those relationships so defined, it’s the souls in question that intertwine with every kiss and caress, unifying to settle at the base of carnal fulfillment. That is dangerous territory. Earlier this year, my tinder exploded with matches and the newly introduced ‘super-like(s)’. Amidst this titanic wave of attention and conversation, one potential match stood out. He was in his early 30's. But that didn’t really matter. I prefer older men. And I never bothered asking why he kept his limit lower than usual. But hey, I kept mine high too. So we were even I guess. He was a dusky, bald expat living in the heart of the city, not too far away from me. He was open, flirtatious and very generous with his compliments. I exercised restraint – a lesson learnt after a night gone awry with another tinder date. That tale is for another time. The first phone call happened. I was at home working and saw Truecaller flash his name on my screen. I smiled a little. Nervous, hoping no one was around to eavesdrop. I answered the call. And it was his voice. His mature, exotic accent got me rapt in attention. The conversation was pleasant albeit brief. We were to meet soon. Subsequently, we did. And the on that night, the cool, effortless façade he put up melted away as I received a number of anxious and seemingly nervous phone calls and messages from him during the 20-minute journey enroute. “Have you left? ”, “Hey, where’re you at?”, “How far are you?” It was kinda strange. But I gave him the benefit of doubt, he was probably really really REALLY nervous. I thought that was cute, but still strange given that he was so forthcoming in his advances via text (1/3) #the100dayproject #illustration #drawing #dailydrawing #tinderIndia #datingapps #tinder #datingstories #menandwomen

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

Day 5 of #100indiantindertales Shared by @tinder user from #Delhi “I am obsessed with feet. They turn me on. Like crazy” We were speaking on the phone for the first time, after a week’s chat on whatsapp, and I hadn’t paid much attention to the first time he said this, but twenty minutes later I knew tonight’s conversation was to be focussed on feet. “I may not even make love, but I can sit kissing your toes for hours” Not make love? Okay, it’s not like I want to jump into the bed but I'm a little concerned about my toe being sucked all night long. “There’s something about toes. Clean, pedicured toes…so sexy!” I meet him this weekend, I’d have to go get a pedicure on Friday evening. After work of course. What about you? What turns you on? Or maybe I could wear socks. Winter is almost here; sneaker season yay! “Are you there?” “Oh. Yes. Well, I like everything. I don’t like to focus on one thing alone.” “But what do you think about toes? Doesn’t the thought of bare toes arouse you?” What is with him stuck on toes?! Unmatch. Block. Spend the weekend oversleeping and overeating. #Tinder #illustration #the100dayproject #dating #datingapps #tinderIndia #drawing #dailydrawing #stories #menandwomen #datingstories #feetfetish #feet #womenartists #india #indian #handmade #handdrawn #sexandthecity #sexandIndia

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

Day 14 of #100IndianTinderTales from Mumbai. "The conversation was quite beige – not really fun; not really boring – somewhere in between. He had an artist’s face – a brooding, lovelorn, guitar strumming, bearded cute boy of a man. But he finally had my interest when I heard him rattle off the name of a band that I didn’t often hear, that was also one of my favorites. With that we began our little tête-à-tête that lasted a little less than a week, ending with me meeting him on an impromptu night at a bar. We spoke about our love for music, art, history, symmetry, and swapped stories about our exes. He told me about his last girlfriend, someone he lived in with for three years, and had broken up with a few months ago. I figured he was on a rebound but was okay. Haven’t we all been there? So all was mostly well – well besides the fact that he kept pinching my arm, and much to my dismay kept saying gleefully – “it jiggles!” it wasn’t such a bad night. Okay, if you think I let that get to me and put me off him, you’re wrong. My luck with @Tinder was close to being a myth, and right at that point anything worth salvaging, needed to be salvaged. So as was planned, I met him for another dedicated night out – starting at his favorite bar (and I owe him this one – I have a new favorite now). Okay, so I was a little frisky after a few beers, and after some deliberate flirting, and nudging each other on, we found ourselves gate-crashing someone else’s party. The night was turning out to be fun, and my date promising, (except for the fact that he kept a strict tab of who had what and made sure I paid for every drink that I was now sculling down like a tanked bone-head). There was the eye-contact, and the gentle brushing of the arms, the oh so slight grasp of the small of my back, the gentle moving of a lock of my hair from my eyes, and tucking it playfully behind my ear, the locking of the eyes across the room, the playing with my hair … he had all my lady parts alive! (1/3) #illustration #The100DayProject #mumbai #Tinder #Tindertales #tinderIndia #dailydrawing #drawings #menandwomen #datingstories #datingapps

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

Day 22 of #100indiantindertales P from #Delhi writes about a night of unbridled passion. "By age 37, I have experienced the truest of loves and its devastating loss. A heart that has loved so singularly & lost so purely becomes either fearless or reckless. So when a chance Tinder encounter (*truly* chance because he is only in the same location for a couple of hours when we 'match') reveals himself to be perfect in all ways except that he's married, I don't disqualify him. It is the coldest thing I've ever done – to pursue an intensely sexual encounter with an absolute stranger from whom my heart wants nothing. It also makes me feel alive. We meet and have a spectacular night without an ounce of sleep. I get a cab in the early hours of the morning and as I ride back, there's a smile on my face, a glow in my body and an absolute absence of guilt." #the100dayproject #illustration #drawing #dailydrawing #menandwomen #sexandthecity #sexandIndia #india #dating #datingapps #tinderIndia #artistsoninstagram #indianartistsonInstagram

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

R from #Mumbai shares about her first Tinder date in Mumbai. Day 16 of #100IndianTinderTales "A late night conversation with a friend got me on @Tinder. I was always reluctant about installing it, as it is widely used to hook-up but decided to give it a shot. I had no bio, just a couple of pictures but I managed to get about 20 matches within an hour. I spoke to a few guys, most of them were looking to hook-up but I managed to have a few interesting conversations with a couple of guys and decided to uninstall the app. I kept in touch with one guy. He seemed engaging although we didn't have anything in common except for our love for pina coladas. We'd speak to each other everyday and after a week, we met. Five minutes into the meeting, he said, "I have to leave within an hour." After a while, he disappeared for 10 mins to make a call. He checked his phone from time to time and even worked on his laptop for a while. I avoided using my phone because I think it is impolite. This guy was very different from his bio and the person I had spoken to. I thought of leaving several times but didn't. He told me a couple of times that he hates people. By the end of it, I felt like he was trying to run away and get out which left me feeling petty and sad. I couldn't stop thinking about what I had said or done wrong as this was my first Tinder date. I never went back to Tinder. I've realised that most of us have two sides to us – one for social media and the one we keep to ourselves. And though we are all seeking connections, we are happy to have it from behind our screens and become antisocial when we come in touch with real people. Often we forget that we are dealing with fellow humans, living, breathing, feeling, hurting, real people like ourselves, who are also looking and seeking." ______________________________________ These have been #crowdsourced. If you'd like to share your experience, screenshot, please feel free. You could be a local or expat using the dating app in India or you could be an Indian using the app abroad. This is just to curate various experiences and is a personal project.

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

A little late, it is as difficult to draw #Andheri (e) as it is to get there. Day 15 of #100IndianTinderTales When I started this project, I barely had 4 stories and few friends who Tindered who promised to contribute. I wasn't sure how I would generate 100 stories given in the past I have uninstalled @Tinder in less than 24 hours, sighing, "These creepy Indian men!" But this time I decided to stay, not be offended, engage, make screenshots of everything, date, get stories and have some fun. And suddenly the stories started pouring in from absolute strangers. I met one Indian pilot off Tinder who was great fun, flirty, very chatty and a complete Dravidian masterpiece. Thanks to how well he took a 'no', I was ready to meet other folks off Tinder. Next was a Polish-Indian person. We were to meet last Sunday. I was really interested in getting him to write a story. Plus, he was funny and hadn't said – 'Are you looking for fun?' and could laugh at my 'white man's burden jokes' unlike most European travellers. When I first told him about the #100IndianTinderTales project. His reaction: "Oh you are here for research?" "No, I am interested in people's stories and how we connect. I am here to meet fun folks whom I may not meet otherwise. I am open to possibilities without naming them. Plus, this is an #art project" "Good. Would be disappointing if you were doing this just for research and if Tinder was sponsoring you." "Ha ha ha. Wish it was! Imagine getting paid to Tinder, that would be a dream job." So after a week of some chatting which was mostly about travel, food, people, ex communist country #Poland, India, Air BnB in #Mumbai, Andheri East, laced with humour, we decided to meet for 'lemonade'. I was meeting friends during the day and had slotted him for an evening date. But in the afternoon he texted to say: "Hey Indu, crisis situation, I don't want to bore you with details but the laundry has stuffed up my wash, I now have zero clean clothes and they all will have to be redone. Would you be mad if we meet during the week instead?" (1/2) #The100DayProject #illustration #dating #datingapps #drawing #dailydrawing

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

A from Mumbai shares a tender tale of love and loss. Day 13 of #100IndianTinderTales "I always loved meeting new people. I feel it is easier to talk to strangers. No one judges you, they don't know you and you can be yourself. As for @Tinder, I first used it in the UK. It was the first time that I was living an absolutely independent life in a new country. Initially I wasn't too keen on a "dating" app but towards the end I didn't mind giving it a try. And in my last few days I met a few people and was glad to have met them. That's when I realised that people were not just looking to hook up but there were people who were genuinely looking for good conversations and some company. Once I came back to India, I uninstalled the app. I thought Indians would use Tinder just to hook up but I was still curious about how it is here. I reinstalled it when I was meeting a few cousins in Delhi (I live in Bombay) and had a few matches. One was with this guy who loved automobiles and was working with Lamborghini. I loved the brand and he was kind of cute. We got talking and got along really well. But I had to come back to Bombay and we couldn't meet. The distance didn't  matter, we kept  talking. We would talk about cars, movies, music, everything. Overtime, we grew very fond of each other. Having a similar kind of work schedule, we'd be driving at the same time in the evening and would keep each other company on the phone. (1/2) #illustration #stories #The100DayProject #tinderIndia #tinder #dailydrawing #drawing #dating #datingapps #datingstories #menandwomen #Delhi #mumbai #india #indianstories #crowdsourced

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

Day 20 of #100IndianTinderTales The best part of this project has been hearing from various women, women who feel vulnerable about putting themselves out there, looking for love, sex, connections. Worried about what friends will think, what if family finds out, what will men think, am I being slutty, what if I encounter a creep, am I too old, is it okay to look for sex, will I find love, why am I not meeting anyone organically, Is something wrong with me, but I am divorced, what about my child… I am in my late 30s…. I am 40… I am 20…. In a society that runs on the lines from a Ranjeet movie, "The mare and woman need to be reined in tightly," it is heartening to see many women assert themselves as sexual beings, taking control of their bodies and their minds, giving in to desire and willing to share their stories. Without shame or embarrassment. Makes me feel I am not the only one not experiencing the 'happily ever after' that 90 per cent of my Facebook friends are bragging about. Having said that, I still would love to hear from more men than I do, sharing their experiences on online dating platforms. Have a good Sunday! #illustration #dailydrawing #drawings #sexandIndia #datingstories #the100dayproject #datingapps #dating

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

Day 12 of #100IndianTinderTales: Two guys share dope on – How to sell yourself like a tampon on @Tinder ""In my first week on Tinder I got zero matches, and against my better judgment it made me feel small, shitty and terrible. As if I’d lost out on some stupid bounty I’d never wanted to be in the running for to begin with. And as penalty for my half-assed, non-committal (did you get the pun?) attempt at Tinder, I would never, ever be getting laid again. It was a very complex kind of feeling to feel. So that weekend, after three stiff drinks in one of those bars where only stiff men drink stiffer drinks, I reached out to a self-proclaimed Tinder guru friend of mine. Again, against my better judgment. What He Said: Bro, ekdum simple hai. Pehle ek achha waala bio likh. You’re the one with the penis, so you need to explain first. Tinder kyu download kiya? And don’t say you’re looking for sex. What I Said: But I am looking for sex. WHS: Yeah, so are they. But saying it in those exact words makes you a creep. What kind of nice, decent, non-rapey dude uses Tinder to cruise for sex? WIS: … WHS: A good looking one. Sorry broseph, but you aren’t that good looking. WIS: Ha, woh bhi hai. Toh phir kya bolu? WHS: If you’re really desperate, likh ki tu investment banker hai. Ya MBA kar raha hai. Phir dekhna. WIS: No. WHS: Ok. Fuck. I dunno. Aren’t you a copywriter? Sell yourself. Like a tampon. WIS: Theek. Phir? WHS: Then change your damn photos. No chic is going to want to fuck you because you have Radiohead as your profile picture. WIS: No? WHS: No fucking way. Your first picture needs to be the best picture of your face that has ever been taken. That’s your action shot. WIS: I’ll take one. WHS: Then get some shots with all your attractive female friends. Are you still in touch with ****? Definitely get one with her. WHS: Chal theek. WHS: Then take a picture with your dog. Aur tere paas toh billiya bhi itni saari hai, unke saath bhi photo kheech le. WIS: Oh fuck yeah. Got tons of pics with my cats. (1/n) #illustration #drawing #cat #dailydrawing #the100dayproject #dating #datingstories #menandwomen #datingapps #TINDERINDIA #Tinder #india

A photo posted by Indu Harikumar (@induviduality) on

A very close artist friend talks about a serious @Tinder date and period sex. Sorry #KatsushikaHokusai, I tried to draw #TheGreatWaveOffKanagawa. Hope you will forgive me. day 25 of #100IndianTinderTales "I am 2-1/2 days into my period & want to call him over. In the afternoon it seems like I can manage it. By manage I mean it isn't a torrential flow, just a light and mild drizzle. But I am still worried. So I message my best friend for a quick discussion, like I do before making any important decisions in life. "I like him and we want to do it. But I am chumming, is it a bit much for the first time?" "Period sex is best sex. Pro tip: Just put a dark towel on the bed. Go for it babe!" She goes onto tell me a story of someone who had period sex ending with, "You are naturally lubricated." Adding again, "Period sex is the best sex." I call him and he agrees to come. There is a tacit agreement this is about sex or so I think. I message her again. "Whoa! That's my girl! Keep the towel ready." "Should I tell him I am chumming, I did mention yesterday." She says yes and tells me how I should have a shower just before I meet him. "It reduces the bleeding." I make mental notes and go online to read about period sex. To know what men think of period sex, dos and don'ts. Positions that work. Gravity and flow. Pregnancy and the period. An article I read, says that women are more squeamish about period sex than men. I like the way it ends – Men ejaculate. Women have periods. Both are messy and so is good sex. I am convinced. I run for a shower, in the shower I feel I have been hit by the Great Wave off Kanagawa! I am bloody red. When I meet him, both my flow and my urge are unmanageable. We kiss hungrily. Undress hastily. "Do you have a condom?" "No, I have a period." "Then we will do what we do." We do what we do. He leaves. The next morning I wake up happy knowing that I don't owe my body to anyone. That my boundaries of comfort are my own and I don't need to explain. I don't have to feel ashamed about the period or not being 'available' for sex. It is a step ahead for me. For next time, I am keeping condoms ready. "

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